oh hey so look, another beloved has given up on you.











and it's all your own undoing.

"to tell you i think you could be better"


i think human beings can never be satisfied with what they have.
but how can one be contented with the least of the most basic expectation of anything? 
try spelling disappointment backwards a hundred times.

and maybe you'll get what i mean.

on a happier note.....

MOTHER AND FATHER GOT ME A GUESS WATCH FOR MY BIRTHDAY! 

i know it's still early, and rich people will say "only guess what so happy for what?" BUT. it's the thought that counts alright!
and i know that they are trying to show me in their way that they love me and want to encourage me to go to school and stuff.

i totally love them lah! and it's totally super close to the one i wanted the other time. it's pink, and sparkly, and has hearts! totally what a closet fan of shiny, and sparkly stuff will love! not to mention i love pink a lot, but i can't quite express it sometimes, cause i bet people will look at me and go "urgh?" 

HAHA.

anyway, i attended schooooooool! from ten to six, but i was late for an hour, so i endured eight hours of school! or is it seven? haha no idea. -..-

ahem.

i'm like super proud of my perseverance.

went to yishun with cyn, and walked around a few times. like coooool lah the place! i'm so totally going to buy shoes from that shoe store. those yellow heels are like O.O niceeeeeeeee! haha then she walked me to the interchange where i took a loooooooooong bus to his house area, and changed a bus to kovan, destination hk cafe. -..- troublesome shit. but i guess its worth it. wasn't feeling well, or maybe it was the too cold air conditioning. hate how the rain always gets people sick, cause an umbrella is just totally inconvenient.

and .....

(spacings)

i really can't help it.
i'm not happy.
not happy not happy not happy not happy not happy.
and i hate that feeling cause when we're together you make me feel quite blissed out.
it's really those little actions that show you care.
like being thoughtful, or being sincere about what you say.
and i wish.....
and sometimes it feels like i'm not good enough for you.
and..... it sucks.

cause girls say things they don't mean.

and they think guys get it.

lol. don't think you'll see it anyway. so uh who careeeeeeees yo.

ho.

ho ho ho.

ho..

i'm tired.

anyway, there is school tomorrow, so i have to go to bed earlier.

goodnight world. (: 



xoxo
just so you know,
i wouldn't get here without you.

ps: her man is sweet. her man is sugar.

edited

God, i sound so selfish in this post, but it's really how i feel, so no editing. cause i'm honest for it, and you should accept me for who i am.

only friends can view that previous entry.

fuck.

you make me want to cry over and over and over and over and over again.

but tears are weak, and i hate to be that way.

overly dependant, needy and clingy. not the way i'd want myself to be at all. and i've come to dislike the girl i've become. not thinking in your shoes, being unreasonable.

God, i'm in this way too deep.

i need something to get me out of it.

you make me very happy, but you make me very sad. short and simple.

in a surge of willpower and determination, i'll say it. i'm not going to need you. at least i'm going to try my best not to show you that i do.

lock the doors and build that wall back where it belongs.




but love, you've broken through all my defenses.

"you affect me, you infect me"

sometimes it's not so much as what you already have, but how you hold it.

does that make sense? it kinda does, to me. some feeling of sub-contentment (no such word, but it sounds cool so i'll just wing with it), where i'm content, but i'm not at all.

with what i have, or what i've lost. it's all to do with the opportunity cost, as i've come to realize more and more often these days. you gain something, you lose something; cause it just isn't done to have your cake, and be able to eat it too.

sounds mighty familiar doesn't it?

The Bottom Line

Are you in the early stages of a romance? Try to keep expectations to a minimum.

In Detail

Are you in the early stages of a romance? Then make sure to keep expectations to a minimum. If every conversation isn't as scintillating as it once was, don't worry. Let your conversations be natural and relaxed -- doing so will ensure that this thing between you two lasts! If you are not in a romance right now, then try to get together with a close friend and talk over your feelings about your independence. You are coming to appreciate the way you are in a whole new way

that's my horoscope for the day, courtesy of friendster.

meaningful shit, especially since that's the stuff that has been running haphazardly through my head these few days, apart from the study woes and life alternating choices worrying shit.

alright, might be back to edit and explain, cause now my mum is #(@@)_4(@#*$ - ing again.

crabs for dinner, an early birthday celebration for the twins.

off, taaaaaaaaaa!~


xoxo
brandishing my heart in
your careless hands

ps: i miss you. in more ways you can imagine.
pps: you make me happpppyyyyyyyy.
pps: you're always making my heart contradict itself.

"complicate your breathing" 

disgusting disgusting disgusting.

just a little while more, just a little while more, just a little while more.

i'm not going to stay for long either.

life's too short for hang ups and fuck ups.

 bastard.

bitch.

slut.

whore.

i'm sorry.

my father cancelled my phone line. hallelujah.





















knnbccb!$*@&#@&$@&(#@&*)#*@)#@()*#@)(*#!_{
uneasy,uneasy,uneasy.
no cellphone + no home phone= uncontactable unless online.
nb.

just to get through it

at jay's house and using the computer while waiting for cyn to be done with her bath so i can get my arse freshly showered too.

found out many many things during the past few days, and am sure that i do not like it one bit. i mean.

sick.

twisted and weird stuff that ties in with the whole logic that humanity is twisted and humans don't deserve to live.

okay, maybe we do, but it's hard to do even fanthom why humans do the stuff we do.

alright stop it. and i found out that someone has been lying a lot.(no that one i found out a long time ago (:) and acting like such a typical male pig that enjoys sharing "conquests" with his friends. rolls eyes*

i mean, IT'S NOT EVEN THE TRUTH. some of it, maybe. but NOT ALL. and plus the way it was presented was totally off lah, you get my drift? no i think not.

oh wellllllllllllllll.

and.....

don't tell me that i'm scarred, somehow i was before everything, and i am even more scarred now.

no pun intended, but only someone will know. HAHA.

and don't look at me like everything's okay, should be okay, and i know it'll be okay, but still.

somethings can never be erased, and though you wish with your whole heart that things are not this way, sometimes it just IS like this.

and i hate it when people look at me and go like "aiya don't xxxxxx" if i could, then i wouldn't, now would i?

alright, it's enough. i hope that things will be fine by the next time i blog.

till then, miss friends blablabla loads.


xoxo
hold your head high,
heavy heart.

ps: keeping your dirty little secret

"your biggest alibi"

read a book last night.

came to realize some life-changing things about people.

some people, do nasty, and mind twisting stuff, and when you try to think of WHY, the hell they would do that, you don't come up with any answers.

well, thanks to that book, i realized that some people, do stuff cause, well, perhaps cause they aren't very nice people to begin with, and that there's no WHY to what they do.

some people can swear super easily, perhaps even on the lives of the people they care about, just to hide the fact that they did something wrong, or that they are about to do some potentially wrong thing that for others, will bug their conscience no end.

for some people, however, i'm not too sure that they actually have a conscience.

i feel super disgusted, and i really wish that i can take back whatever i said. but the sad thing is that i can't. but for the record, i didn't lose, cause no one won anything.

in the whole process, it was all words, just mere exchanges between two very different people, though words meant more to one than to the other. (: but uh yeah, talk is one of the cheapest things on this world, plus theres no GST.

so yeah, in the end nothing is won or lost, but i think i gained a little more. not weight lah fuck! HAHA, but yeah. i'm going to listen more to my friends, and to my parents.

and it's no longer important, cause uh it only took three days for me to get over everything. (and how big is your hold on me?)

and yeah i learnt a lesson. big one. so, thanks (: hope no one will be insulted, cause i'm straightforward like that.

:D

cheers

xoxo
now heart,
shut up and drive

"we've got to move on."

livejournal is giving me minor problems. like, come onnnnnn. enough already.

sometimes it's hard to think, and harder to think with a growling stomach. came home with the anticipation of cup walker, but mummy said she didn't buy it. imagine the disappointment on my face i practically waileddddddddd. LOLLOL. all for food.

hungry hungry hungry.

some stuff happen that make people think. anddddd. some issues can never be resolved cause in the end it all boils down to what you did, and sometimes, no matter what you say, your actions are already etched in the mind.

i think i'll miss you for awhile to come, but it's okay. the mind over the heart, any day. right?(:

and..... i think when it comes down to it, most guys do think with their dicks.

but i'm not pointing fingers, nor am i blaming anyone.

it's the vulnerability of the night, when you stare at the ceilings hoping for dawn to break or for sleep to come.

xoxo
sometimes,

ps: against the will

throw your hands up like you don't have a care

testing. i have no idea what's wrong with livejournal cause it looks all ugly and shit with the fonts like that.

and and and. i hate people who are skinny (cynthia neo) no lah love you darling. but seriously WHY AM I FAT WHEN OTHERS CAN BE SKINNNNNNY AND EAT WHATEVER SHIT THEY WANT. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR LA CCB.

sucks and people can have flawless complexion blablabla. OKAY LOR. gr.

hahahahahaha just being grumpy and stuff.

where's my sewing classes and yoga with bec plus my foot massages and shopping trips all down the drain.

got to stop cabbing around though it's difficult not to when gallivanting around at night requires transport that comes in the form of a taxi. sucks, and the midnight charges are a big killer and money is so hard to come by. hate being broke. -..-

attempting to put in more punctuations cause liangjie said i needed to learn how to use some. -..-

realized something while watching "The Holiday" at joel's earlier on. it was kind of already what i figured out, only the point was driven home more firmly cause it was said out loud and on tv, if that makes sense.

so, the other lead actress (the one who's not cameron diaz), kept ranting to jack black about her cheating ex boyfriend who kept coming back, and she said something about why people keep falling for the wrong person, and know that he/she is wrong for them, but choose to fall anyway.

and she said that it was cause it was somehow already expected of them, to do something wrong, or break the other person's heart, so if they did come through with that, their action is somehow psychologically excused because of the non-expectation that was already there. and if he/she did something totally positive and unexpected of them, people will tend to stock it up as a positive mark for them, and so it continues.

my mouth totally dropped open and i kept OH-MY-GOD! -ing when she said those words, and got totally worked up when joel commented on some stuff about the show -..-

and yeah it made me understand a lot of things somehow, or made the realization of it clearer. i mean, this can't continue on, and don't you hate it when people say stuff they don't mean?

a talk is going to have to come up about this.

alright i'm off. pictures up some other day. (:

xoxo
and if i ain't got you

ps: i can see through your disguise

okay get on with life it's no longer going to be a cycle and i'm going to try, hard.

make amends and finally be there like i used to. too caught up with too many things, missing out on the people i really care about.

those are the stuff i think about before i go to sleep.

and those are the most important things.

too many nos, why nots, maybes, excuses said and done, expectations and let downs, the taken for granteds, those 'i'll be there for always', the tantrums thrown taken that they'll be swallowed down.

actions not thought of, no willpower, sharp things said, insensitivity, acting like a little kid, step in others shoe's for once bitch. once once once.

and it's always about yourself isn't it.

always and forever.

so now when you turn around and everywhere's a trailing blaze of a mess, you only have yourself to blame.

cause who changed and who stayed and who'd leave and who's saying what and what's to believe and who's only saying the stuff you want to hear, who's saying things you have to hear, who'd you choose to listen to, the heart over the mind or the mind over the heart, or the body and just fuck the rest.

the morals and the temptation and greatest sins and not being understanding shits and forcing yourself to feel what you don't feel, knowing that the end is coming and yet not doing anything to stop it, holding back for stupid issues, not allowing yourself that little what may be of true happiness what the hell do you think your heart feels vs what your other self will feel about all the shit you'll accumulate can't drag anyone down

the heart's a loner at times self exile acting in ways undeserved for thinking of nonsensical whims and fancies doing other stuff that we don't give a damn about knowing that it's not going to achieve anything

that feeling of hopelessness and being lost and not knowing what to do what to say who to talk to who to hear when all you want to hear are that the nicest hearing things people say are the truth when chances are it'll just fuck you up

and when you just want to curl up and die or end it somehow and you feel like a shit cause you think of others and what they've lost, or like getting angry at your friends for stupid reasons and choosing to stay that way cause of how you just don't want to feel guilty about it all and just want to get through the whole anger spiel without having to feel guilty about being an unreasonable shit but feeling guilty anyway

and because you know how the hearts a fragile thing but how at the same time feelings make it selfish or is it the mind that's making it selfish but either way it doesn't matter much if you don't share it around but how can you when you're afraid of your heart getting hurt and the other party getting hurt and when you want the best of both worlds and you want two cause it's something impossible so it's stacked on an impossible pedestal to ever achieve and so things are just hanging there

totally being a fuck by screaming yelling using other emotions and ways to express other feelings like how you scream when you want to cry and you laugh when you want to scream and wondering if you're a bad person because of the things you think of and the pure selfishness you feel

committing all of the seven sins would God forgive the sinners soul if they knowingly commit a sin when you know that it's a sin isn't it weird how sins are defined and what is a lie to make things easier for yourself or to make things better for other people or for yourself, to find a way to ease it out of you

to dream of the only person who makes the cold lump of ice in you quiver the only person whom you'll allow to take it whole willingly to shatter it however he pleases to hold it high or to smash it to pieces to take to love and not to hate what if you found out you're in love were in love had been in love and you didn't know it and you found it out and after it all you're still in love and just accept it and shut up and move on

fool you've been had don't treat people who don't like you who don't let them deserve it.

don't leave me.

but you you you you you should.

first time i've blogged like this all jumbled mumble jumble my thoughts worries thoughts jumbled around like a mural splattered with gradients of different colors.

and it all comes down to this.

i'm sorry.

"things i'd never want to let go" 

yo yo yo wassup people.

finally at home after rounds of mahjong, losing heavily, i might add. someone is cursing me. bet it's my parents. HAHA i'm kidding yo.

every so often i'd look back at stuff and sighhhhh. like aiya i really really miss everyone. every single one of them. haha feel like rewinding and look at everything.

reminds me of "click". and i cried like a baby the second time i watched it again, courtesy of javiour who went "let's watch click!  i want to see johanna cry" ya like thanks ah. fucking sad show that reminds me of my parents and how big of an ass i'm being lately towards them.

urgh.

anyway, i failed. like, big surprise huh. NOT. -..- am quite lost as to what to do since uh i have no guts to tell my parents yet but i don't want to care about it.

irresponsible even till this juncture. i've got to make a to do list of what to do with my life yo. hopelesssssss. and i can't continue with this.

too much sleepovers and endless mahjong, though it's really quite enjoyable.

OH YES. i can't believe i didn't mention this.

WE BOUGHT A DOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! 

a puppy, to be exact, and he's the cutest, little bundle of chocolate colored fur you'll ever see. don't have a clear photo of it, but it looks something like this:

Okay there's no picture cause i can't find one that shows the cuteness of the puppy we bought.

bah. it's name is OLIE! hahahahahhahaa as in rolie polie olie or the skateboard stunt olie thingy. -..- oh yes, by the way it's currently residing at joel's, and it's more of joel's dog lah really. hehe

and it's damn weird cause it likes to cuddle in little corners and blablabla. oh ya and it shitted on me. L.M.F.A.O. and it nearly peed on me. very, very nearly! hahahaahhaha.

okay a lot of thoughts and blablabla what nots but i'm more interested in looking for a new layout, so.....

toodles! 


xoxo
if a heart would repent
if a heart could repent

ps: i miss you .

"to be the kid who caved you in" 

had a long post about random shit, but got too caught up in watching antm, and deleted in the last moment cause uh..... i didn't feel like it already? 

HAHA.

anyway, bc is off to china already! hope she's fine and will take lots of care of herself <3

i feel like changing my livejournal layout ehs.

and i feel like mahjong-ing. heee.

good news: pay is coming soooon! 
bad news: results are out on 16th sept.

kill me!

cyn: so what if results are out on 16th sept? (as in what will happen)
me: then die lor. I die lor.

HAHA.

by the way, i totally think that the script writer or whoever of bruce/evan almighty is a very good scriptwriter. mainly cause the ethnicity of God is BLACK! 

as played by Morgan Freeman: 


i mean, if God is really black then i bet racists against the blacks will go "OH SHIT!" and promptly proceed to shit in their pants or something.
it's so totally in your face and the irony of it all.

btw, i didn't notice it only now lah! just that i didn't have time to blog about it and i just got reminded of it. HAHA! 

and i swearrrrr. cynthia neo is one of the most idiotic friend i have.

cynthia says:
hahah ok
cynthia says:
read my blog again
'Johanna says:
readealready commented alr3eady haha
cynthia says:
hahahah
cynthia says:
oi not 3/4 loh
cynthia says:
1/2 oh lol
cynthia says:
u have no eye for measurement
'Johanna says:
nope
'Johanna says:
you elaborated more on the wound
'Johanna says:
much more
cynthia says:
but ppain ma
cynthia says:
hahahah its interesting ma
'Johanna says:
okay your scar is interesting
'Johanna says:
HAHA
cynthia says:
HAHAHHA !
cynthia says:
BUT ITS ORDINARY LIKE SHIT-=.-
cynthia says:
boring
'Johanna says:
dear i was being sarcastic
'Johanna says:
HAHA
cynthia says:
HAHAHAHHA just act it out together with me
cynthia says:
it really is triangle
cynthia says:
omg!
'Johanna says:
-..-
'Johanna says:
OMG
'Johanna says:
then star leh
'Johanna says:
i help you lah
cynthia says:
eheh u got read ur blog i commented leh
cynthia says:
no fuck
cynthia says:
pain sia la
cynthia says:
lol
cynthia says:
hahahi dunno y i have ur this pic
cynthia says:
lol
'Johanna says:
which pic
cynthia says:
this
cynthia says:
cansee>>

'Johanna says:
its still the pic of us
cynthia says:
lousy com
cynthia says:
nvm lol
'Johanna says:
send me lah
cynthia says:
dun wan its dumb
cynthia says:
cause u hav it
'Johanna says:
which one lah
cynthia says:
the last time ur dp one
cynthia says:
lol
'Johanna says:
uhhhhh the
'Johanna says:
this one?
cynthia says:
no
cynthia says:
another one
'Johanna says:
sendm eh lah
cynthia says:
ma fun leh u
cynthia says:
oh ya cant send
'Johanna says:
why
cynthia says:
i dun have that pic actually
'Johanna says:
YOU
'Johanna says:
ARE
'Johanna says:
FUCKING
'Johanna says:
IRRITATING
'Johanna says:
HAHA
cynthia says:
is just that u log in using my comthats y hav
'Johanna says:
so thatwhole convo was a buildup of nothing
cynthia says:
LOL
kNN gan me={{{{
cynthia says:
HAHAHAHHAHA ya
cynthia says:
=D

'Johanna says:
i am going to blog about it
cynthia says:
wtf NOOOOO
cynthia says:
hmpt fine i go blog that u gan me
cynthia says:
i'll start with/
that idiot asshole joh GAN ME
'Johanna says:
WTH
cynthia says:
ayeaye u got read the comment i give u not?
'Johanna says:
no lor
'Johanna says:
haha wait i go see
cynthia says:
dumb so slow
cynthia says:
ssssssllllllowwwwpoke
'Johanna says:
on my blog orwhat
cynthia says:
;p;
cynthia says:
lol
cynthia says:
ya
cynthia says:
ur blog
'Johanna says:
in the chatbox
'Johanna says:
or
'Johanna says:
YOUR WOUNDAGAIN
cynthia says:
HOHOHO

basically, that was one whole chunk of stupid. and pointless. HAHA

and i bet no one but cyn will actually read. :D

see how she exasperates me? power i tell you. HAHA

anywayyyyy. i want to go to malaysia to shop! hehe hope things there are cheaper. i don't know i just want to get out of the country with some friends. at least can have fun! HAHA. get someone with a PROPER license and it's offfffffffff we go! hurhur.

so many things i want to do eh, but it's either no money/no time or i don't know what else. HAHA

three of my parcels came yesterday and i'm pleased with most of them. hee. but i shall not be reckless and spend so much the next time on stuff that i don't look carefully at. but some items will look much better with some changes to it; the cutting and stuff, which brings me to my next want.

SEWING CLASSES! grrrrr.

i shall stop being a person who just keeps proclaiming to want to do stuff but not do anything. -..- does that sentence make sense? oh well.

some pictures: 



yes toilettttttttt. nice place to take pictures in cause the lighting is GOOD. haha! 



joker, anyone? 

andddd last one stolen from cyn's blog.



hurrrrrrr. should take more pictures! 

okay next post there'll be some stuff! hurhur.

i want to play mahjonggggggggggggggggggggggg. damn it.


xoxo
i can't compete with a memory.

ps: one more day.

pps: nicole lao shi r.i.p.

"honey? we have a problem." 


oh yeah guess what? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
we have kittennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns! 

yes yes, kittens have arrived at the teo household, courtesy of MUA. -..- (no, not make-up-artist lah dumb fuck!)


found them below joel's house, and brought all five (YES, FIVE) of them up, where they spent the night outside joel's, while we were playing mahjong inside. HAHA. aye, not cruel okay cause it ain't my house and i can't spend the night outside cause they have to sleep anyway.

mr august ong kok tiong was nice enough to go buy stuff like milk and some bottle thing that will be suffice as food for them for the next few days. (: 

they are daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmnnnn cute please! but i have no fucking idea how to keep them. so, i'm hoping for kind souls who can keep kittens/cats.

here are some pictures: 






and so, well told my dad stuff like, "dad! you know about how God wants us to be nice and kind and save poor people who might die or starve and be miserable?" (or something like that) and he totally went "huh?!" and i took his hand and pulled him to the tv room and i went: "SURPRISE!!!!!" *add winning smile* 

his eyes widened, and i think he was totally digesting the *omg five kittens?!* thing in his head, those few seconds he didn't speak. but uh, luckily they were pretty good at looking cute and mewing, so he kinda softened and just sat there looking at them while eating some snack of his.

my mum, on the other hand, had a very big reaction. i said the same stuff to her, and started leading her towards the tv room again, and she totally went "no ah, hanna! no ah! no animal ah!" like she totally knew i already brought one home and she still "no ah! no ah!" like as if the more "no ahs!" she says, the more the possibility will be diminished. -..- fat chance! haha

this time, my dad was behind her and totally laughing at my mum. -..- but uh, i dragged her towards them, then they were all huddled in a corner looking sleepily at her. then her heart melted. (: 

but uhhhhhh. she got angry at me again later on. -..-

okay it's 9:07 am now -..- can't get to sleep and it sucks, so i guess there'll be more random natterings and photos (: 

joel had a dream which he found totally embarrassing, and swore he wouldn't reveal the contents of it, but he did anyway, after two rounds of mahjong and him saying he'll say it if he lost ten bucks or more. but in the end he didn't. BUT! he still said it anyway. -..-

and we went to the pasar malam to jalan jalan, and played the fishing game thing! and we won TWO HAMMERS! which were for the special use of whacking kok tiong when he was sleeping. HAHA! these days seem more enjoyable than normal. HAHA.

and we watched porn. for educational purposes only okay! cause i didn't watch it before, so forced the guys to watch with us :D and they kept complaining cause it seemed kinda weird for guys to watch porn with girls but but but it wasn't for sexual reasons what so i have no idea why it was so uncomfortable. -..-

haven't laughed so much as the past few days. should try laughing more.

and and and..... I HATE MY SKIN. like really, realllllllllly hate it. fucking pimples everywhere and large pores and oily t-zone. ta ma de. and have fatttttttttttttttts. that asshole javiour went "johanna isn't fat." then i smiled happily in the dark cause we were all going to bed. then he continued, "she is PLUMP!"

what.the.fuck! 

damn sad i tell you. so i shall stop eating ): and i want straight teeth lah. shall ask daddy for it. either porcelain teeth or braces! but i'm more to braces though they're horribly unglam and takes a longer time to be straight, cause it can help make my fat face slimmer, but the porcelain teeth thing will hurtlikeafuckingbitch lahszx! my GOD. though the quickness of it is very very tempting. =/

peektures! 

darling bec and i! <3



at geralds' place. hate my fat face lah damn ugly face roller here i comeeeeeeeeee! 



see, only those kind of suck-face-in kind of photos will make my face look slimmer. -..-
and yes, i know i am zilian. thousands of photos of me in my com, but uh, most of them
fucking ugly ones. HAHA.



and yes, i know that they are all damn edited. =/ i was boreeeeeeeed. HAA. happens when you can't sleep. pixels are damn huge though.

and okay i decided to post an unglam picture of three people, and i don't think they will kill me for it cause THEY DON'T READ MY BLOG. HAHA.

really completely retarded.



HAHA! 

anyway, I SLICED MY THUMB OPEN! okay, not that bad, but it hurtttttttts, though it's only a small wound, and not as big as cyn's. HAHA i think it's still bleeding, when i cut it around three. -..-

movies watched recently: death race, 4bia and bad habits.

wasn't aware of bad habits being rated m18, but still was able to get in! teehee. not i chao lao okay :D

i want my hair to grow longer leiiiiiiszxszx. those just above boob length then straight straight one can already. but i have to go rebond the bottom part of my hair first. little suckers keep curling outwards like free like that. -..-

okay off to washup and heat up the milk to feed the little buggers! i feel like a mothercat or something, what with all the comments of me being a cat and all. -..-

xoxo
wouldn't it be nice? 

ps: staring at the only thing that i can see of you.


edited! : 

my dad was such a sweetie pie and he bought style magazine for me! it was a totally random action, but he bought ittttttt for meeeeeeeee! hehe luv him luhs damn sweet and thoughtful cause normally he wouldn't waste the money one though it's only six bucks. hehe my heart feels all warm and stuff. <3

"so long sweet misery" 

shit tends to pile up, all emerging in one day. like a bomb or something, walking innocently on the road, then PHEWWWWWWW BOMBBBBBBBBBBB! imagine dust and mud and debris flying e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e* 

attention! attention! many people injured! at least two dead! * -..- okay LAME.
 
lately stuff have been happening that makes my heart stop. like literally skip a beat, and i don't mean those kind of 'meet your mr right and your heart starts beating like a little pussy' skipping a beat. it's kind of those 'oh shit it's all my fucking fault' kind of skip a beat or feeling of the heart plummeting (sp) down down down kind of beat.

do what ever you want, i've told you already. applies to everyone. sick of it, had it, and tired of things being like that.

did i mention,  I FUCKING HATE HUMAN BEINGS?

fucky little suckers.

still love my friends though. each and everyone of them. used to be i could count on you guys for anything, hope it applies still now, and you can count on me for anything. anything at all.

okay lets drop this cause i have to go get ready for the outing later.

photos next post or something? when i can get halfassed to at least try to post them up. byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


xoxo
stepped all over, left your footprints you did.

ps: nine months, soon.